I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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