I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
