Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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