Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
