is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
