Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girl is more easily done than said...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
