Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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