Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
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I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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