What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
