dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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