How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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