have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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