I understand Curling. That high.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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