Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
