I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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