I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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