I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need water and some morals
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