girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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