so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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