Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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