The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
