you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize