Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
