so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
