well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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