obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
