i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
