is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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