Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
