ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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