I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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