She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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