It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
