CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize