Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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