Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
