are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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