508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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