O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I could make wine with my vomit
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
