eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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