I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
two words: eviction party
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
