Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
