Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize