I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
