why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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