i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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