I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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