the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
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She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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