in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
