I cockslap morals
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
