is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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