i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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