I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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