wanna go halves on a baby?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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