the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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