He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
