if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
