dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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