We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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