I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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