im about as happy as oj after his trial
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
