Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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