guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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